Tuesday, August 19
Having fourth apple of the week. Am so proud am healthy. Also had chocolate this week. Not healthy. Oh well, they say you must have a 'balanced diet'. *grins* Is it just me or is everyone terrified at the prospect of choosing your career? (including me) In a way, this is one of the most important moments of my childhood, if still childhood.
I want everything to stay the same. Its 'safe' and 'secure' like Sue said. Its nice like this despite its disappointments, and despite the freedom of adulthood. Adulthood seems far from being me. I'll grow up, I'm sure and well all have to. We have this innate method of being adult, speaking to people's parents politely on the phone, saying thank you, holding open door for authority figures etc. There is however, that moment in which I remain a child. Wanting to argue and shout at Mrs Hodgekinson for her close-mindedness, and wanting to run away from Sue when walking up to Fiztwilliam, and play computer games with Carman, and blow bubbles at Anna. I mean what's wrong with that?
I guess we still hold childhood remnants of ourselves when we grow up and get drunk and party like animals. That is our childhood, but its the way we handle ourselves in the day which is part of our survival in the 'realistic' ugly world. I suppose that's my ideology. Once again, referring back to 'ignorance is bliss'. Maybe it won't be so hard than I think it is, that is if I get into medicine. I can make the rest of my life really easy or really hard.
It all depends from here till the end of next year. I don't know what I want to do but the pressure is amounting and I need to concentrate on a goal, whatever goal that it may be.
