Current Mood:
Current Music: Kylie Minogue feat Nick Cave - Where the Wild Roses Grow

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Elisa Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Elisa Day

From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one
As she stared in my eyes and smiled
For her lips were the colour of the roses
They grew down the river, all bloody and wild

~

So since I posted a picture of my friends, I'll post a picture of the others. Except, its a cop-out because Em won't post any of her Fiji photos and A'mes has forbidden me to post anything of her unless its imaginary. So yes, I'm left with the imagination. This is the best I could do until Jen and MV complete that self-portrait of us. Well, we'll be here till doomsday. *sigh* So here's a doll-maker one. Note: Ignore my skin tone. That's so totally me, except thinner and a lot darker. More like a rancid olive. Hee. Who's who behind picture.



(LtoR(topbottom): MV, Me, Petrie, Ames, Princess Em, Jen, Mary)

~


On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me with a rock in his fist

On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief
As I kissed her goodbye, I said, 'All beauty must die'
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth

Everyone has got to listen to this song. Toodles. Dinner.

~ M.M.W ~

Schnugged at 19:18 |

Three words I have been waiting for in the past two years.

LOTR blooper reel.

And I got it. I GOT IT! *Em and Ames scream in unision*
Yeah okay, so its bad quality and some scenes are anno but omg, tis funny! Tis funny! And after I've had such a shit day (not work related) I really needed something like this. Yayness. Y mucho decisiones hace.

~ M.M.W ~
Schnugged at 23:15 |

Current Mood:
Current Music: Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made for Walkin'

Well, well, Ronnie (Howard). You went from Willow to directing Arrested Development to now directing The Davinici Code. You have had the life. If you only you had QT's talent. Damn.

So I should be studying history but Clare and I have decided along with the rest of the class to fail utterly and hopelessly. I didn't know they were in the shits too. Had my first big exam day today. FOUR IN A ROW. Ugh, that was terrible. Five hours of utterly boring Psychology. And now I have history and mathematics (one to go) and then I'm free...for the weekend. But I think by Friday it will be okay. I'm pretty adept at Chemistry and Spanish (Tu madre es loco!) pero yo no me gusta ingle's especialamente historia. Aunque, yo podria mis tareas ahora. Mierde. Like my spanish? I think everything is right except i need a few intonations and things. Meh. And one of them is a swear-word, vos perras.

I just wanted to update you on a few happenings before I forget.

Recently was at video store and ran into Diana. Shock treatment need. Psychosurgery now!

Also! Nah, I'll leave the Chapel thing for another day.

And while today was my first exams it was my first real day away from my friends and it was without a doubt quite enjoyable. I came into school and it was our tight white Psych class clustered together doing last minute study and first minute bitching. Exam One. Sat next to Jen and made faces at Sarah when she turned around. Exam ends, we're out in the corridor for fifteen minutes tops chuckling and laughing and getting high and then whooshed in again. Shit. Paper 2 is muy deficil. I suck in my gut and do it (also because my stomach is churning and making weird noises). Exam ends and Jen, Sarah, Steph and I (with Diana) descend down the street, chippy it and spend time making lame jokes about psych and talking about cannibals and other fiendish delights Steph likes talking about all the while Jen keeps calling me a conformist. Me conform? Pshaw.

Up we go, about forty five minutes later with a time concious Sarah which just barely reminds me of Sue and in again we go, Exam 3. One hour later, we're out having switched seats and we sit patiently outside, waiting for the troops to arrive (the rest of IB, or otherwise known everyone else who doesn't do Chinese, HL Maths or Psych) and we shush them as they come scampering in. Jen on a high rests on me and calls everyone gay, I yell at Ying (comically) for her audacity to complain about this exam and I kick Sarah with my complimentable shoes.

After Paper One Maths, a not so terrible paper, I sashay to the trams with Sonia, Katrina and Jordi and we walk up, good exercise for my feet, and discuss boys, clothes, my shoes (always in the conversation somehow) and of course, examenes. They drop me off (more like kick off) and I stroll home more than happy. Although I have just been through four terrible exams, with little but a few chips and aqua veta I am sated. And I am home. I fall asleep on the couch watching SATC and the Simpsons and wake up at 9, procrastinate and finally get to studying...which is what I was doing till right now.

Ta. Night.

~ M.M.W ~

And I said I wasn't going to post. Bad me.




Schnugged at 23:16 |

Current Mood:
Current Music: Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up, I called him mine
He would always laugh and say
"Remember when we used to play?"

Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down.

A few issues have been itching me admist my constant study of Spanish etc (especially hard when my sister walks through the house spouting french spontaneously, really agro).

Watched Serendipity for the second time last night. Nice, squish rom-com. Always love John Cusack and of course, his sister. For some reason Beckinsale's accent (though is real) just p-ed-me-off. Nm. Not central point. Sitting there watching with sister and we start playing the 'cameo-spotter', which doesn't always play to its name. The 'cameo-spotter' is a game which my sister and I, both movie buffs, try and spot as many supporting characters as people from other movies. Its fun. Unfortunately, a surprising pattern started to occur.

Me: Wait a moment...doesn't she play Natasha from SATC?
Karen: Yep...[Five minutes later], and that's Aidan from SATC!
Me: Yeah! Oh! And that's the Indian bus boy from SATC. [We look at each other queerly]

About ten minutes later, we have spotted three more cameos from SATC and even one from the following movie, Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. I mean come on? Did they honestly not know they were doing this? Except for Eugene Levy (who is absolutely goregous, in that comical way), the entire supporting cast had been or at least guest-starred at least once on SATC. I mean, what? Was this some inside joke? Being me, I quickly checked the down and low on IMDB and there's no mention of it. Does this mean I get to submit a trivia? Yayness. Now can I be bothered when I should be studying. Err...well there's my two-kernels for the day. I should really stop making jokes only Ames and I will get.

~

Just present news, Em's DL is freaking the shit out of me. These people actually follow their lives...and then speculate over teh gayness. Oh come on! There must be someone living out there in the world of internet-o. Oh well, I guess not. Even Em's not that of a tinhat. Which is pretty fucked anyway. Oh right, back to actual post.

Okay. I didn't think to post about this until miss cc brought it up but yeah I have to agree, its annoying the fidgeywidgey out of me. Muchily Muchily. And its not only Howard and Latham, I'm getting the dl on Kerry and Bush too. Arguments over gay rights, economic policies, social policies in contrast to latham's rising taxes as opposed to Howard's rising hecs fees. ARGH! I'm glad I don't have to vote this year that is. Its driving me nuts! And its everywhere, tv, radio, newspapers and now, entered my own private territory, the internet! Even when I limit the places I visit, its not too hard to find my own friend's 'two cents'. Even Ames and Mary have had arguments over it during chat and I've almost clipped the two to shut up. While sure, politics is important and can change the course of my future, I'm sick of it as much as I am sick of listening to everyone talking about uni courses and fees and scores. Plain sick. So if you know me, and you love me, please don't talk bout it! Puh-lease. This means you, Ames. Btw, if I had to vote, I'd have to vote for Howard. So shut up, Em.

~

All right. Ames and I have been scouting through DL last night, and I found the funniest quote. Its off a Dom Monahan scan.

"I saw Troy and didn't think much of it, to be honest." Monaghan confesses [Damn, I've been spelling it wrong all this time! And NO ONE told me!], "Actually Viggo and I went to see that movie together. We bought a few extra tickets and were handing them out to people, telling them we were helping Orlando [Bloom] out."

Muahahah. Oh, but bagging my poor Leggy! Pshaw.

~

All right, all right. I gotta go study chem and psych and math and bitchy old history and english. Is that all? Oh no wait for it, SPANISH! Jesus christ. Cya after the exams so I'm signing off for a while. Em, Ames, Mary and the rest of my two tapping darlings, wish me luck.

~ M.M.W ~




Schnugged at 13:23 |

Em has pushed me to post photos, as I'm really the only one out of us who doesn't. So here goes, photos from a lovely but flustered Friday afternoon. Even I'm in them.


(Photo: Taken by Anna-kins) One of Anna's 'accidental' photos, I thought it was a rather lovely snapshot except I look like a buffoon. A bufoon! I think I was telling a joke.


(Photo: Taken by moi)
Sometimes, I feel that I am quite natural behind the camera and photogenics like Carman and Sue in front of it. Anna's a natural comedian in front of the camera but I'm the whiz behind it. You probably can't see it, being the immature, naieve, ineptly artistic beings, but there is a naturalness to this photo that is almost aesthetically pleasing. These guys are real friends and this photo was no pose. You can see by the unfrozen smiles on their faces and their natural stances. Then again...it was posed. In particular, I love that look of disbelief or 'dismissish' as A'mes calls it, on Anna's face. It is funny that it is only Cathy smiling here. Hm...

~ M.M.W ~
Schnugged at 17:31 |

Yeah. Okay, I was uneasily on board when Dominici Monahan decided to become a TV star. Sure, not all of movie-convert-tv stars go down the bin, some even spiral up! But when I heard that Billy Boyd, yes Jen cover your eyes, was voicing Chucky...
Yes. Chucky. That Chucky. The Chucky. The little doll that comes alive and kills people. Yep. That freaky-deaky Chuckie that used to scare the be-jesus out of me on a par with Freddie Krueger. Well yeah, except this time Billy Boyd is voicing the offspring named Glen. Yes, Clen. Not widdle Glennie. Just Glen. Still *draws in deep breath* oh my god! Check out the trailer here. Ahem.

~ M.M.W ~
Schnugged at 16:21 |

Current Mood: Useless
Current Music: Train - Calling All Angels

Yeah bitches. I feel god damn useless.

You know how I prattle on and on about how much my friends have inabilities of 'being' friends. Well I just went and 'hypocrised' myself up the ass. Yes. I need to practise. No need to lecture me, Miss Mary.

The night starts with me innocently calling Steph to discuss 'things' revolving around our scandalised Psychology Teacher and the pit of despair. Never you mind, but it turns into one of those deep profoundies I have occasionally and then Steph reveals to me something that I will hold dear and deep into that den where I keep all those secrets, Sarah's, Sue's, A'mes, my own etc. They all lie deep in there that only troughs of alcohol or hypnotism may reveal. Or perhaps torture. Meh.

And then it becomes even more profound, shockingly interrupted by my most embarassing mother, and I had to go.

Two hours later, snuggled against my pillows and watching a rather hilarious episode of SATC, season four, (you know this series started in 98!) Steph calls again and this time, its serious. She's got a situation and she called me. At first I'm sort of treasuring the moment, thinking how wise and wonderful I must be for her to call me and then I'm worried, noteful of my inexperience. The last time this happened, my best friends' brother had split his head in two and well, my mom was there. But this time...it was different. This was Steph, I already had my pre-conceptions of her, and I really could not do anything. I was *points above* inviably useless. I suggested what I thought most logical but my mind was reeling and it still is, even now, fatigued as I am. Its my own limitations. My own shortcomings that pull in the stops.

After it had been resolved and Steph had left me feeling as terrible as I always had, perhaps worse, I wondered at my inexperience. How am I, possibly one of the unluckiest people on this planet (oh believe me - okay, for my class/socio economic status) inexperienced in the world of bad experiences? Listening to Steph and her rants on the people she hates, I could hear my voice through the phone, the echoing pain of loneliness and terror, the inability to 'accept' your friends, to just accept life and move on.

That, I cannot do. Never have. Steph admits she has accepted that she has been 'abandoned' and 'deserted' by her friends but I'd never accept that. Sure, I'm not a fighter...nor am I lover, see pre rants, but I've always questioned things. While it seems that I've accepted being as dubbed by kind *sarcastic* Cathy as the 'Joey' of the group being the sleaziest and dumbest, oh its easy to 'accept'. Fuck as hell it is. Anna may be able to accept things easily, and move on but I am not. And I never will be. Outwardly I may, but inside I rebell.

Inconsistent. Continually moving. Seeking more, better. Gawed. I sound like a technical gadget or HP, those stupid ads. Is that better or worst? My question, Carrie-like, is when and how do we know when to accept and when to question? When is enough enough?

I suppose I can put down my inexperience by my questioning things. Is this right? Is that right? If I say this, in what context can it be taken? Is it rude? Is it tactless? I suppose that's why I need things to come naturally to me. Writing always came naturally to me, while I scorn my grammar and technique in Sailormoon stories, there are moments in HG 7 where I grin indulgently at my screen and wonder how in the world I came up with such an ecstatic sentence, it even makes me quiver. While my friends will never be able to appreciate this, its something I certainly won't question. Oh well, perhaps 'how the fuck did I write this at two in the morning?'

End rant. Oh Ames, I promise. Chapel story soon. Psychology tommorow. Gawded. *whine*

~ M.M.W ~

Schnugged at 01:01 |

Current Mood: Sleepy

Short post because I'm sleepy and I have school tommorow, along with other stuff. *Whines* And this is supposed to be my holidays...*sigh* That reminds me, I have to cut my fingernails. Its getting hard to type.

OKAY! First off, I hate my sister because she's got me hooked to SATC, otherwise known as Sex and the City.


Being a fan herself, she went and bought the whole series (except for the last one that still hasn't aired!). Argh. And now I want to watch all of them, when I should be doing my homework. Is this shitty or what? Nm. Its a great show actually and I was wondering why I had never noticed before. Its awesome actually. Surfing the internet and I found these quotes, they're really quite good.

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away.

And especially this one...

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous.

It reminds me of Dawson's Creek or Scrubs or Donnie Darko, all the things I loved and cherish and perhaps even the OC which manages itself to have some really deep things. I also began thinking about how everythings going to change next year, again, yes but jesus, it only really hit me that I'm going to have a totally different life next year. And while this year remains to be seen, I regret loosing it deeply. I'll miss being taken care of my parents, and throwing childish temper tantrums, and gossiping late at night with my internet friends and focusing on OB's buttocks...okay, maybe I will still do some of those things, but it won't be the same. It never will. And I hate it. I really do.

Last year, at the beginning I thought I would come to some deep philosophical answer like they do in movies, as bizarre as it is, it comes to them in the middle of the night. Just hits them. And I thought it would hit me. But I've waited and thought, and thought and...nothing. Just emptiness. And waste. And choice. Nothing really fabulous and that's just fucking scary.

What if next year, it changes but I don't. What if next year for me, doesn't come.

~ M.M.W ~




Schnugged at 23:21 |

Current Mood: Bitchy
Current Music: Gavin DeGraw - I don't wanna be

Summer : Come on, Cohen. Be, like, a gentleman.
Seth : Chivalry's dead, sugar.

Oh how much did that remind me of Cassie Claire's quote? And she didn't even steal it this time. Its from the OC, mind. They have Buffy writers now, so who knows? Maybe the writers stole it from themselves. Mmm...I miss Buffy. And Spike. Why is Spike on angel? He died. Died. You know, burst into sunlight which...killed him...you know, him, the undead. So it like deadened him twice...okay I'll shut up.

Ames: Please!

Shut up, A'mes. Well its mis vacaciones, which I suppose is a sign for celebration. But no, I must putt off to school next week AGAIN for revision lessons. Yayness. Oh whatever. I'm glad we finished. I had a wonderful last day. Okay, that was sarcastic but only minimally. My history teacher actually sniped at me, as did my English teacher. So I threw a hissy fit at my English teacher (well subtly, mostly me ignoring him and doing other work) as I was all ready in a bad mood, and he spent the rest of the lesson after realising HE WAS IN THE FUCKING WRONG subtly apologising back. Too bad, damage irreconcilable. Bitch. Although I couldn't help laughing, being it was Mr Pryke, my 'he'so!gay' teacher when he said after the class' distracted discussion of who would play Stanley.

Clare: What if Arnie played him?
Me: (making a joke) Yeah, imagine at the end when Blanche leaves and he says 'She'll be back' (laughs)
Mr Pryke: What's wrong with Arnold Schwarznagger? He's quite attractive.

Absolute dead silence, followed by me accidentally sniggering into Sarah's shoulder. Oh, funny. After that, it was MATH in which Ms Grahn made me teach a question to everyone else on the board (exam questions) from which I was unprepared having been sick the precedding lesson. But you know, she has faith in my abilities. Oh it was fine, just a simple tangent to the line using calculus and other do-doodlies that I would name but I can't be fucked.

The rest of the day was spent, unsucessfully trying not to aprobious (word from commentary) about bloody mass singing. If someone sings that stupid 'what are we gonna do' song again, I will bruce lee your ass!!! But then, Sue, Cathy, Anna and I spent time taking pictures of each other down the front gardens and other assorted places. They were quite good and I, miss cinematographer, actually put together quitely a nice photo. Its a really cute one of Anna! Aw. I'll post them when those who took them send. *sends vibes* Sue has got the same camera as a my sister. Woop.

Oh wait, I have other news you guys will be interested in, being you dips. Well actually Em only but still not Em. Guess what? Yes. *points below*



If you don't know by now, this is the film of 2005. I cannot wait! I really can't. It has the best, best cast possible and I love the art style, the set up and even the story, so this is the next LOTR for me and according to the pre-critics (JoBlo, namely) it is going to rock. Eeee!! I cannae wait.

Unfortunately, darling Em, there were pictures of your said hero though I can tell you his name. Its Kevin. As in Cassie Claire Snake, as Joey's 'Kevin who can't pour milk', as in Kevin, that stupid prat name. Yeah, but his character's fricking scary and I think they picked the right guy, if you ask me. I think El!Wood will be able to play a sinister character with that babyface and the same monotonous expression without emotion. Hell, he did it in ROTK, he can do it now.

Enough from me because you'll be getting loads from me being the hols. So upcoming, my trip down to Chapel Street with my sister in the dead of the night (okay, 7, but it was dark and I almost got lost!) and hopefully new icons (I will hopefully get the new BJD2 trailer capped. Woop).

Toodles

~ M.M.W ~

PS: Btw, I didn't actually name the movie. I only realised that just now. Its Sin City.

PS: On another freaky note, I watched the Rocky Horror Picture Show last night, being as I want to watch all those movies that everone talks and knows about, cultural thing. I was completely shocked. Not at the concept but that the guy everyone mimics as in the transexual from tranylvania was none other than my beloved Tim Curry. With great legs. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Schnugged at 15:16 |

Current Mood: Tired
Current Music: Nara - E.S. Posthumus

Sick today. Slept in mostly although was supposed to do work.

Interesting Movie news! While Mira Nair's Vanity Fair got terrible reviews, guess what? Natasha Little, the girl who played Becky from the BBC Version of Vanity Fair is going to be in the 2003 Vanity Fair as Lady Jane Sheepshanks. Wooh. I can't wait to see it.

Did you know my mocks are in a week and a bit? I'm a little scared. And I'm quite prepared though so I guess I put my fright down to stress.

I told you I found my baby pictures right? Yeah, well I did and gawd, I was so cute and photogenic. I'll post them tommorow when I can scan them in. And I also recieved the pictures of my little nephew, Kenshin. He is so darn cute. Though he did smell (all babies do!), he was so excitable. I'll post those too tommorow or check them out on my photobucket. Aww, I just realised how cute that sounded. photobucket Hee.

I've been in such a dour mood this week. Not my usual rude dour, but really quite. I've been thinking really hard, if that's possible in my little minute brain. Actually, on a tangent, I hate the word minute. Is it small or is it time? Who knows, till you read it out loud and understand context. But it can be so damn confusing. Dammit. Back to my mood, everything has been so confusing lately, I just really haven't wanted to speak to anyone, anyone at all.

And what is shocking of all. I haven't told any of my non-IB friends about the shocking thing that happened last week. I had to explain it to a few of my teachers (work unfinished) and to Adele, because of some weird security thing thanks to my mom but other than that...I simply didn't get to, or forgot to. Then again, perhaps it was an unconcious thing. I didn't want their pity, especially Sue and Anna's 'aww...oh really?', as if I would lie about that!

And then again, Cathy's stony silence or Carman's bloody interjections about how she's so wordly and its happened to her before. And then of course, I get her bloody opinion on the subject and how it wasn't as bad as it was for her...

And on that matter, can I just say something? About things that happen to you, if something similar happened to someone else, please do not compare. I think it is perhaps the worst thing you can do. What is the purpose of saying 'you think that's bad, its not as bad as blah blah..to me'. I mean come on, how is that supposed to help the situation? Obviously the person is suffering, the person just wants comfort, someone to make them laugh, something to make them feel better and turning it on yourself, away from them is not. I just get so infuriated when it happens and not just to me, to anyone. I just want to slap the other person and say shut the fuck up, idiot. You have no idea what you are doing. No tact. Nothing. You stupid superficial bastard.

Yes. Quite a heated matter for me. I never realised I was strongly opinated. I always believed I was a 'fencer' (not a person with a sword and a nappy), someone who tries not to take sides. But I guess I do. Although they are stupid opinions, as so reinforced by Cathy, they are still mine and I'll stick by them because of my own feelings, my own experience and not by the direct vacillations of others. I know that sometimes I'll break my rules, and preach but not practise, but mostly I'll strive to be good and to do all those things that make me morally righteous.

On another note. I think Alice was right. I am directly confrontational and quite blatant in this blog/diary. I speak my mind, I don't hide behind facades and walls and blinds. My eyes are open, I suppose in a way. ALl this anger just vents itself out here. Sometimes I hate my friends. I really do. Sometimes I just want to walk away and leave them or just fall in a crying heap. Because of the way they treat me, and the way the 'misuse' me, as I were some little interesting doll they could play with. Other times I put all this anger and emotion on myself, or our situation, or the deterministic aspects of our lives which I suppose you could call fate. But what good does that do? The anger, emotion remains.

Truth exists here? Okay, so here goes. Cathy and I have always had a tentative relationship and although I discuss it, I don't really dig deep. It goes back to Year 7. Cathy was always someone I held up on a pedestal, although I hated her for all her moralistic bullshit I really looked up to her and its only now, you can really look at a person without all those illusions and see her. She's not as divine as I thought her, she's tarnished. Not as in the things that have happened to her to sully her vestal-virginal-like proportions, but things that I only saw in myself.

I've discussed this before. The way she has become so dependent, needy and grubby in a way I've seen myself become not. She drags Anna/Sue/Carman to her locker because...hey, do they need to go? No. She just does because she doesn't want to go alone. Something I never thought Cathy would resort to, being so indendent, moral and logical. These parts of her personality have arisen now and they're ugly or perhaps they're human, things I see in myself, in Sue. Although Sue has always been needy, she's admitted it. And while it makes her vulnerable, in a new light she is more moralistic than Cathy. She admits her faults, although she doesn't confront them, more a confront-phobic, like myself I imagine. Cathy meanwhile snubs or teases her for them and then does it anyway, being the big h-word, hypocritical. I suppose a lesson for Cathy would be practise what you preach because sometimes she doesn't. She acts all haughty and lectures me on being logical and quiet and then goes ahead and is loud, chatty and bizarre sometimes.

While I can put that down on her way to de-stress, it just seems unnatural to me to be like that. I admit I'm bizarre sometimes and I am full of faults. But I hate her for being like that. For tearing my image apart. For in the end, making me dislike her so. And it hurts me, because I always believed she was going to be a true friend. And now...she's being all Christina-like and I hate her for it. I really hate her. And I hate the fact that she's making me hate her. I always liked her for being so dissimilar to me and now I see similarities between us, I don't know if we can be friends anymore. I've tried. God knows I've tried...but there's nothing between us anymore. I liked us better when we fought all the time, but now there's an inner struggle, psychological if you will between us, and before when I persisted to like her, to want to be her friend it kept us together. But now...that I don't want it either, where does that leave us?

Sometimes I think that Anna's image is breaking too. And where Carman and I got was nothing really, we just confronted what was between us but nothing was truly resolved. Because she's back to basics. And I'm back to...I don't know. Perhaps Sue is the only one, I don't know anymore. I really don't. And thanks to exams, I don't have the time.

I always believed I would have true friends who would last forever. And I did, Justine, Megan, Kathryn, Kelly, Sarah, Andrea. They would have been my best friends, people who are loyal, just, true, who are full of faults but would NEVER made me feel like this. NEVER. Its just unfortunate that my situation turned the tables and what would have last forever, was cut short. And this, I don't know what this is, but it seems to be lasting for forever...these problems within our friendshp. Whether Alice wants to face up to them or not, she doesn't have to. She has other people she relies on, McRob type. But I don't know, I only realised that since I came back I've started questioning everything. And sure I can put a lot of this down to paranoia philosophical ecunmenical bull but really, these problems exists.

We're friends. But always superficially. The moment I can truly rely on them, for them to jump the bridge with me...and to be their to catch me when I fall.
Well...I'll call you.

But until then, let us not say farewell but adieu...

~ M.M.W ~

PS: On a lighter note, I saw Top Gun! Great film. Possibly the only film with Tom Cruise that I liked, though Minority Report was good.

Schnugged at 20:53 |

Yes, A'mes. I am going to kill you.

Sorry guys. I know. I'm really sorry about this. It wasn't as bad as A'mes is purporting it to be. But I adored all the lovely messages sent. They were really heart warming. Especially Em's picture of EW crossed out with 'Mel, I luv ya more' at the bottom. I have lots of love!blingbling. *googles*

So an update since this is the first weekend since my exams that I haven't updated...well? So what did happen?

Friday wasn't bad. I was ready to throttle Carman but you know, nm. Steph managed to persuade me to go on the most boring excursion possible to do electrophoresis. The one thing I did get out of it was why Gattaca is called Gattaca. Woo.

Yet all the same, not knowing what awaited me at home. I had an epiphany last night while listening to my new CD. I had no fucking idea about what was happening while I sat on that tram on the way home, or while I sat bored while we electrophoreised. I don't know what would have happened if I went home like I planned to early at 11 o'clock or anything.

Even when I walked up my driveway after tramming home and seeing Karen's car in the driveway, I thought she had just come home because she was sick. But then I walked in and it was like everything was different, like someone had painted the walls pink and yellow and throw sand all over the floor. But it wasn't noticeably different like that, it was the atmosphere, my parent's frightened face as I walked in and I thought, woah, what the fuck is going on?

Well. It should be explanatory. My room was in a mess, my window broken, my mother's heir looms gone. We'd been robbed.

And the fucking, son of a bitch, cunthole bastard had gotten through my room. Sure, my sister reassured me it hadn't been my fault, he'd 'jimmied' (as so eloquently put) my window but it was that he (you can see I'm assuming its a man) had gone through all my things and now I felt dirty, violated. It was disgusting and I hated it. I didn't want to go back in my room.

So I went for a walk. A really long walk to my favourite tree which I sat in and just stared at the sunlight until it got really dark and then I went home. My sister tried to take my mind off of it by staying in and taking me to the video store and out to get dinner while the police came over and took pictures, dusted the windows for fingerprints and took a report. He was really nice, jolly looking Santa Claus guy. But god, I still felt sick.

I think the first night is the worst, you know, lying in your room thinking, he's going to come back. Even with the bats outside as a deterrent, I had nightmares of squeaking hingest and the sound of shattering glass and an evil voice and grimy fingers and terrible eyes, misery of drug-induced greed. I was so frightened. SO scared. And then I thought of Monday.

The next two days were okay. I spent them relaxing with my sister and my mom, lying about as I do but I avoided my room. Cleaning up was tiring though and I still haven't finished. It only struck me on Sunday night that I had homework to do.

So here I am on the dreaded Monday, feeling a little bit better knowing that I have friends who care (*schnugs Ames*) and knowing that we are indeed getting an alarm system now.

~ M.M.W ~
Schnugged at 10:05 |

Tis A'mes here.

This a break from your usual viewing a.ka mel's rants and bitching which we are so used to now. it does have a reason, hos.
mellie needs us right now. although she probably won't admit it, and yes, she won't ask for it either. you know her.
something terrible happened to melissa on friday. i'm not going to put it in detail here but i thought you should now. so please, send her your love as ambiguious as it is. and mel, when you read this, i know you will be so angry with me, but i really don't care. that movie white merchant ivory bull doesn't work in the real world. you should know that.
so on that note, we love you, darling. we do. i hope everything will be okay. fuck, you should be proud of me. ihaven't sworn once during this entire post. *schnugs*

~ a'mes who loves ya, mogs ~

Schnugged at 20:14 |

Current Mood: Tired
Current Music: She will be loved - Maroon Five

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I’ve had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn’t matter anymore

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door’s always open
You can come anytime you want

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

So, finally someone tells me what mo-fo really means. Whoops. I should really stop telling Ames that. Ew. Heheh.

Argh! *screams at Alice's photos* Omg! I don't know what's wrong! I've tried everything but they end up crinkly when ever I resize them! I hope to god alice scanned them in as clean as possible because I can't work with these. No wait, actually big sized they look good but they're soo pretty, i want to use them for the icon pages. *weeps* Oh mo-fo! *batters keyboard* *emails*

Had a real nice lunch. We were in the library 'studying' and I was working on Yearbook but we all got distracted talking about the stories, weapons, powers etc we used to have. Funny! Especially re-reading some of them. Omg, what was I thinking?

Not much else to say. Oh, saw 'Without a Paddle' and 'Suspect Zero'. Suspect Zero better but Moss reminded me of her character from Memento. *rolls eyes*

Oh and Year book is hard. Especially around all my exams. Yargh.

~ M.M.W who is finished with profiles, timeline and onto obessions, red hot ~







Schnugged at 21:23 |