Saturday, October 2
Current Mood:
Assinine
Current Music: Mindy Smith - Joelene
Exams are, stop, over, stop.
There, you've got my telegram, Em darling. Now we can talk again like two normal birdies, without me going 'hi em, finding historians, bye em' or 'don't talk to me shit eater' and various other a-type personalities I have grubbed up from my meagre primordial soup of a brain. Yes. Its all gooey and fondue-like. Lots of things to update (along with the Chapel Street story which I never seem to be able to tell, I promise Ames! Next time!).
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Movie News
Okay, so Shark's Tale isn't attaining the reviews, nay even the critical success it pompously self-inflated itself with. Even I'm 'tsking' in the face of another Pixar re-do. Disney must be either laughing into their $80 towels or pounding their feet on the floor, in anticipation of their next excellent adventure soon out this Nov/Dec, The Incredibles which I can't wait for. Yes, yes, Mary, we've established I'm a Disney-ite. Most of my lovable childish memories were spent with Pocahontas and Ariel, so yes, I'm biased, as I'm sure are most of my generation. I'm all for competition between rival animation companies, but as for blantant rip-offs, well...*hmpfs*. They'll see. They'll all see! Muah.
That wasn't my news though. It seems another studio, who I vastly adore and come second to Disney (well, pre-freeze Walt), called Blue Sky is prepping up for another animation turn over entitled Robots. Let me assure you, they aren't newbies, Blue Sky are the returning champions from the suculent sensation, Ice Age which I *proudly* own on DVD. Mee! Anyway, Robots, is about a young genius robot who goes out into robot city and blah blah blah...you know the story. Yep, I know, you're thinking either how boring or 'been done' but I'm not in it for the stories a lot of the time (although something does have to interest me), evidence is Planes, Trains and Automobiles on last night which I loved but was a one-idea plot. Nevertheless still good. I digress. The voice actors and animation is excellent. Get this: Ewan McGregor, Halle Berry, Mel Brooks (Ayiiii!), Drew Carey, Amanda Bynes (she hast atoned for the unspeakable movie with Colin Firth), Dan Hedaya, Jim Broadbent, Dianne Wiest, Stanley Tucci, the lovable Jennifer Coolidge (check her out in the TRAILER (not movie) of Cinderella Story as the evil step mother) and of course, the redeemed and always esteemed Robin Williams. He too features muchily in my child memories, always the funny, hairy boy! So yes, Spring 2005, here we come!
Secondly, of course I should mention the The Invisibles. Don't confuse this with the Incredibles. Its a website, perfect for my movie-tuned mind and serves as the much needed relaxation post-exams (that's not completely true, sometimes I want to hit my head against my desk!).
This is so much fun! Everyone can do it, although it would be good if you knew a little (I lie, a lot) about movies. My sister and I get an average of about 5/8, she knows all the old ones, I know all the new ones so its all good. The Invisibles are pictures from well-known movies, with the people (characters) erased out and their faces appear as if they aren't there. Thus, you have to guess what movie they are from. Interesting, no? Hard, yes. Fun? si, si, si!!! Now only if they would do this with red-carpet Oscars/Emmies. That would be tacano!!!
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Big news. I got Sims 2. Yes. I got it. Its sitting right next to me and it is two words.
Wicked cool.
(Yes, I've gone British, so sod it...off). You can record movies and post pictures so I'll post some up.
Just some interesting things during my traversings. Did you know that your male can be abducted by aliens (when watching through the telescope) and return pregnant? Pregnant?? Yes, oh excited Ames, with an alien baby. Freak. Freak. Freak. Oh, and the first time I tried it out, at the Pleasants in Pleasantville, the husband who had a wandering eye, went after the maid on the COUCH, just as his wife was returning from work! Argh. I got the hell out of there. Talk about the perfect dysfunctional simulation, please. Good fun. Playing all this weekend, except of course until I go see Vanity Fair...hee hee.
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So, Exam News, as Mary has politetly and obsequiously (hee) requested.
The whole two weeks of exams (Yes I count ALL of last week) was spent without VCE friends, which was interesting, because I always hooked up with them during mid-years and last year's end of years, I don't know what happened. Perhaps becuase these were extremely serious? I don't know. Erstwhile. I spent a hell of a lot of time with IB friends which was crazily happy and stressed (a strange combination, our natural depressants and uppers on a high at the same time! Like polka dots and stripes!). I went on several highs which I haven't done for at least two terms, (except for that one unmentionable in chem class), where I told Jen to, 'lick your eyeball' which served as terrible imagery especially before our english exams and had Jen kick me, wearily but hard. Ow. Funny nonetheless. It eeked her. Steph and I had this delirious cram before our chem paper two, which was considered nice except by Clare. We sat down in the tuckshop, shoes off, spontaneously combusting into rants about how chem is hated by all, and how indeed the haber process works in lamen's terms (Quote by me: "Because they were sooo lame! *lots of giggling by me and weird looks by the techie people*". Yeah, that's how high I was!). Other splendid times, were sitting outside in the cold, after our spanish paper one, eating Adelle's basket of food, and complaining about how hard it had been and what the hell did "minuosvalidos" mean? I think that's the word and I still don't know what it means. Fuck him. Spanish Paper Two was a blast, we only had to do one question (I did two stupidly!) in Section A and one in Section B and everyone left thirty minutes early.
Today was the last day, and I was so eager and I had studied so hard (not, and the night before) for the options, medicine and bio-chemistry, that I finished early and sat there until I asked to go, which she let me, and I went into the stairwell with Jordi and Laura because of the evil eyes of the other VCE people and teachers taking exams, and discussed how silly and how easy it had been.
One thing, I believed was theorised and commented and learned by all IB students. Okay many things, such as if I hear one more VCE student complain about how they have two exams today, I will throttle them (or if they have six in all! ARGH!). Another, if the exams are good now (the mocks) then the end of years will be hard, a psuedo-Murphy's theory nabbed from observing last year's IB exams. SL Chem, hard shit! Oh, and laughing at the people taking exams in big BJ is perfectly acceptable, especially when one has finished fifteen and has only had three hours of sleep, and has listened to reprehensible rants of complaining by VCE art students, I believe some LAUGHTER is in order. Thank you very much, Jesus.
Two things irked me throughout (although failing would be a third, but all of IB was in it together, good-oh!). And they had, not surprisingly, were due to my non-IB friends and two special events. Right before my Spanish on Monday, VCE students started arriving and suddenly, I was overwhelmed by greetings and complaints, but admist them I was able to fight my way through to the IB Spanish corner where complaints were all ready in session (Me: How long did you study for? Anna: Started studying last night. You? Me: *excitedly* Me too! Yay!) Suddenly, I'm tapped on the shoulder and I'm about to whirl around and tell Adele to stop annoying me (Or was it Junebug? Better not be!), and its Cathy. Of course, I'm just about to start my normal 'hey! how ya doing?' jibe when Cathy, sternly and pretty rudely says shortly, 'hey, have you seen carman?'. It was like all in one breath and my mood just dropped to 0 Kelvin (-273 degrees, darlings, yes I did Chem today). As coldly and childlishly imperiously I said, 'I don't know' and turned my back on her. Reasons being, it was early in the morning, I just had done a few hundred exams and Cathy's short, cold cut question told me two things, she just couldn't wait to be with her VCE friends and she didn't give a damn about how I'd been or what I'd been doing. Friend? Friend? Okay, it was early in the morning too for her, but I'd just been through greeting at least fifty people that morning so, what the fuck? What sort of question is that? I mean, jesus fricking christ, I've been your friend for five years and the best I get is 'have you seen carman?'. No, I fucking haven't, because I've been doing exams. EXAMS. I have them too you know, I'm not just high-flying it here in IB like you think I am with my easy SCORES, so stop acting fucking condescendingly. Oh and while were' here, stop seperating me from the group with 'Oh you're in IB, you wouldn't...' and 'Oh I don't think IB is doing it, so we won't be with you...' and 'Oh, no one will be here at lunch because we're at a VCE thing! Awww.' The ONE THING I hate above all others is pity, it engulfs me with anger, if for someone, if for me, even if I don't it to others. Because pity is merely a facade and a valdiation that the pitier, is better than you. ARGH. The second thing is blatant unfairness. Sure life isn't fair, but your friends are supposed to be. They are.
Of course, I didn't say this (wonder if I did?), acting in true Melissa-style and ignored her although I did regrett my actions at once, but Cathy had gone off. But I steeled myself and went and did Spanish, Paper One. Two times, I stopped during that exam and gritted my teeth because I was so angry with myself and with her. For letting IB let a river run through my friendships and my stupidity of course, of not achievinging classes and Marshmead with them. But then again, I considered the possibility of having gone to Marshmead in their term and doing VCE. If I had gone to Marshmead, I would never have met or had the great times I did in Year 9. I never would have made great friends with Sarah, Ying, Sara and even...Suzanne. I would never have had those hilarious math classes with Kim (groaning at Mr. Mein) and never obtained the friendships I did, throughout Marshmead and within my classes. Half of my IB friends are the people I met and know through Year 9...so, what would have happened indeed? I suppose this realisation lessened my regret, but of course the possibility remains of what would have happened if I had done this and done that. IB especially is a thinker, I adore my IB experiences. In some ways, it truly opened my eyes and cut short some beliefs. Especially about friendships, study and vulnerability. I've met some amazing people through IB and I'm so happy to know them. It doesn't make me feel superior to my VCE friends, but someohow more knowleadgable about the things I care about, the things I want in life. Work, money are all part of a greater scheme to feel the abstract things I've felt through IB. God, this sounds like one of my CAS essays. Well, I only have three weeks left, so I'm allowed a retrospective at least. Times in IB, I've felt things were enough that I could continue on that vein for the rest of my life, happily cushioned at school. But now...who knows?
The second incident coddled me too, but I cared less about it. Steph and I had finished our cram and with white chocolate and apple juice (terrible taste!) in towe, we were scaling Centenary's steps slowly, when I happpened upon Sue and Anna. And I felt the gulf. Cathy is wedging one between us, but I felt the gulf too with Sue and Anna and knew that I too was distancing myself too. Just seeing the, act as children made me roll my eyes. Not that I knew them, but that this was a serious time, for serious things. That, and I was irritated that all the VCE students were well rested and awake, unlike me, right before my third exam of the day. Sue said hi and so did Anna and then they just flew past me on the stairs while I continued up. Much like the incident with Cathy and I felt that cold wind past me. Sure, it irked me and Steph could noticable tell that something had put a dampner on my mood, but I don't know why I should be? These things happen. People change, move on and die. Shit. I don't know. I shouldn't be but I am and maybe I'm just too myself to truly understand it. Three weeks left and I don't have to see them again. I can start anew at my university and maybe catch them on the rye, but it will be nothing. Through IB I've picked up people who I probably will attend courses and universities with, because our personalities and choices match, Adele, Sonia, Steph etc. Steph and I are so unlike its scary, we're both pretty tempermenta but AWARE of it, which is rare, and really messed up, but its really brought us closer. Of course, there's the added bonus of establishing memories through classes and stupid teachers (*cough*Mr.M.*cough*). Plus, Steph and I have had a vivid history. Some of it, coloured black. Not pretty, but purifies my significane to her, that've reached this far. I've had more D&M's with her, than any of my friends, except for Sue.
I was watching Sex and The City a few weeks ago, the episode where Carrie breaks up with Big for the second time and she's reflecting on how she's tied herself to this sadomaschoistic relationship and in a way I feel the same. Over the past year, while there have been no major fights or even tiffs, perhaps realisation solely, has made me redefine what a friendship really is. Without conflicts, they still manage to hurt me in ways I can't understand. Some of it can be put down to my emotional pisces, but other stuff is accumulated rage...anger, and just plain hurtfulness expressed because I'm not on a par with them on any level, VCE or academia. And somehow, I've been edged out of their friendship. I wonder how Alice and Bonnie feel. I would love to know how they've dealt with it. I know Alice for a fact, check out all the photos I've taken over the years, has deepeneded her relationship with Cathy. The two seemed insepperable and I wonder why. Is it something about Alice? Is it something about Cathy? Our memories have been the same so why the factionalism, the deeper attachment between the two of them. They always standing next to each other in my photos and its purely noticable, even during outings, they're (okay, non-lesbo) holding hands or walking together. I'm not against it, just curious as to how this relationship was established. I see Alice as much as Cathy does, so I dunno. Maybe its a connection they have, that I want but cannot have with people like Cathy. Cathy and I are polar opposites, streaming in opposite directions. She, of the level headed variety and I of the dreamers, hopelessly lost. I'm glad Alice has retained her friendship with us, just not with only one of us. Somehow, I feel *pout* somewhat neglected. But choice is choice.
I have digressed greatly. Back to the sadomaschoistic train, I just feel I've tied myself to this friendship that's greatly paining me (get the length of this blog) and I can't untie myself. I can't. I need greater things to. And I need to go to bed. G'night, more tommorow and perhaps Chapel.
Ames: Chapel! Chapel! *bangs cutlery on table*
All right, all right. Chapel tommorow. And less profoundity.
~ M.M.W ~
