Current Mood: Oonagi
Current Music: James William Hindle - Leaving Trains

I suppose this will my last update before my exams.

I have done study. I have. I haven't been on the internet for yonks now. Okay, two days. And every time I'm not thinking about exams, I'm thinking about how great our trip will be. And I keep telling myself just get through this, get through this and you'll be happy. Relieved.
Its just sitting down and studying that's hampering me. And Mum's making me go out tommorow and see Aunty Beatrice who I accidentally caught on the phone today. Argh. I have to, have to study. Egoroodid.

~

I guess I won't talk about study. I mean who actually wants to give a shit that in 19 bloody something, 20 somethiing million thousand died of some famine. This therefore indicated and was quoted by some historian to be indicative of the blah blah blah, I don't really give a crap.
Well I do. But not really really. As like Anna loves history, but I hate it. Its too hard, too fucking hard.

Psych's okay, seeing as I haven't even started studying for it. But hey, I've been busy with Math, and Chem, and Spanish, and English and oh yeah, FUCKING HISTORY!
*breathes* End of next week, it will all be over. Well three of them will be. And then its just a nice long stretch between my next exams. FOUR DAYS BABE! That's almost a week. More than half actually. Oh yeah, right, I wasn't going to talk about exams...

~

I actually wanted to post, mainly to thank people even though I know they won't read this but I wanted to them to know I was sending them vibes. Vibey vibe vibes.

First of all, I want to thank A'mes. I love the rest of you, but A'mes, you've really been here for me. From Orlando Blubbing, To My Robbing, to times in the past two years when I contemplated suicide, to cross-checking all my dates and essays. You've been the fuckwit of fuckwits. The babe of babes. The bitch of my bitches. The star in...yeah, you got it? I luff ya, fuckwitto. Luff ya, and can't thank you more than enough for what you've done for me. Kisses and hugs and good luck to yourself.

Second up, come here you. Mary, I love ya. You've been the grounding stone when A'mes was high on Orlando too. While you are younger, I won't deny, I love ya darling. Really love you. That kinda love that transcends exams. I'll miss you the times this year when I've been on a three and you pop on, claiming you just came to check if I was okay. You were the darling-o. Supplying me with love, care and wishes, with a teeny bit of happiness. *schnugs*

Third up, dash it and all, Em you beautiful thing. While you're spelling's atrocious, you only send me icons and quotes, you're the baby of our group and annoyingly in love with Elijah Wood, I can't help but think that you've been the whirl, the giggle and hoolahoop of our circle. I mean, come on, without you in our convos, treating us to hilarious stories, hilarious dreams that kept me cacking for hours, I'd be left with grounded, family girl Mary and sweary party girl A'mes. You and I have shared our bizareness to an extent that even I don't understand, babe. You and I *twirls knuckles* are like this forever.

~

You'd have probably noticed that there isn't much from MV, Petrie and Jen lately. I've spoken to Jen, but mostly through e-mail and Petrie, according to Em, has been really busy and sorta left our group. I've had about two e-mails in the past year while MV is deep in her second year and kinda, not with it. She sends me the occasional e-mail but hopefully in the holidays we'll be hearing more from her. She hasn't forgotten us though and wishes most of us, good luck on our exams. I of course, joined hands and wished her luck too. She's got her uni-cut exams, but she'll do fine. She's a whiz. So there ya go, explanation explained. I know everybody's been wondering but hell, who the hell am I explaining this to?

~

Okay, other people. Ahha, VCE-school friends. (I love my classifications)

Anna, I guess I'll put all the stuff I'm probably not going to put into my automograph. You've been there. Like there. And you're wise and sage-like like Anna on the OC. You were there when the others weren't (At Marshmead, at MacRob), and you and I shared things that the others wouldn't understand (Sailor Moon ideas). While you are quiet and all things pensive at times, I always relied on you. I think we all did, as the foundation of the group, the person, the 'wise man' we all turn to in need of someone to listen, someone to give us advice, someone to cheer us up. You think you're so weak and quiet, but sometimes I fear, we are the weak ones and you're the flying buttress support holding us up individually, and holding us together. I wish you could know this. I really wish you could. Sometimes I've hated you for holding back on me, for withdrawing away because I've been intolerable, but I could never really hate you. You could ruin the world and I still wouldn't. Couldn't. You're that powerful.

Sue. I don't know what I'd have done without Sue. At first she was the person I turned to if I had a math problem wrong. This year, I've been a star at my Math and also, realised the more than academic relationship Sue and I have. Perhaps its because we've personally shared so much more and found so many similar interests. I really care for her. As much as I care for Anna. I don't want her to be hurt, I want her to be strong for herself. She's got such potential and its heartbreaking that she doesn't use it. But I guess that's what I love about her, she's so caring, considerate and sensitive. More than ANna and I hate how Cathy can hurt her sometimes and walk away. I hate that. Sue's so fragile and sometimes so easy to hurt, but it makes her strong in ways she doesn't know. She's been a really lovely friend, who cares and protects us, who gets infuriated if one of us gets hurt. She hates that Alice and Bonnie have to be so far away. I hate that too, but Sue keeps it all inside of her. She keeps so much, I wish she could feel more secure, more happy. I wish that much for her.

Alice, ahh, Alice. The unstoppable tyrant of our group, with the honest, charming persona. Sometimes I have wondered if Alice and I are enemies or friends. She and I have such differing likes and dislikes, and sometimes are convos can get a bit tense and interesting. I like Alice, I won't deny that, she has a way of developing a relationship with you that's VERY SNEAKY!!! ^_^ She's frank, honest (as far as I know!!), cute, charming and enigmatic. I can talk to her sometimes, but I always feel guarded about what I say. I guess it all goes back to Year 8 and our many upsets, and also of course the very ugly black thing I had with Carman. I don't think I can forgive her, ever, for laughing that entire time while Carman and I were crying. Don't think I can. She doesn't know this, and I won't hate her for it, but I'm just worried that she won't take anything I say honestly or seriously. Also, some of the things she's said to me, while very frank, they've been a jot bit too brutally honest. But I do have to thank her, for being refreshing in times when I'm surrounded by people constantly worried about academia and for also all our lovely talks. Although I did most of the talking.

Ah Bonzo. How come to say? Nothing really. And that's being honest. I wish I could know you better, really know you beyond the sweets and smiles. I suppose I never will and that's not much to be grateful for. I am grateful how dedicated you have been in response to everything, even ignoring how little we've spoken/communciated/made efforts to get in touch with you. Your persistence has been much loved. Thank you Bonnie.

Cathy, my dude. Too much. Too much to say. I guess thank you for grounding me, for sharing the good times, for making me get through Year 12 with very little upsets, for hanging in there, for persisting, for being you. I wish you could be a little more open with me but I guess that's too much to hope for. Too much.

Ah, Carman. I didn't mean to leave you last. I suppose Carman and I have really bonded and shared more than common information on what's going on. I've noticed I have as many intersts in common with her as I do Sue and I suppose that's helped. She and I trade insults and remarks as often as I do with Cathy now, except none of them are tinged with anger or resentment that were there before. Its been better, a hell of a lot better this year. So Thank you for trying. For being better, for being more of a friend that I ever supposed/hoped for.

~

I have a heck full of IB friends to thank but its nearly 3 so I gotta get to bed. So I'll just list em', Adelle, Sonia, Katrina, Anna-Sophia (Spanish Team), Jen, Steph, Sarah (Psych Team), Sarah again (English Team), Ying, Laura, Sarah (Maths), Jen and Steph again (Chem), no one in History. Pretty much all of IB for making it great. We've really bonded, made it a team thing so I've really loved/enjoyed that. And while it has made me nearly bonkers, I'll miss it and the people. We've had fun, amazing times and I didn't hate it. Didn't hate it at all. (Well that all depends on my result now).

I also have other people to thank in VCE and otherwise, Jess (American Buffy fan), Marie (Deaf, Indonesia), Karen, Jess, Leanne, Amanda (My HG team) for making my charity work great!!! Also Amanda for always livening up Nevile House Assemblies for me and Carman. Sylvie for being her histrionic self. Kim for being my co-conspirator concering evil 'MEIN' math teachers. And her whole group, lots of people in there. Oh and while I'm there, I'll also thank Eliza's group for supporting me through Year 9 and 10, especially when I was without my friends (I.E. Marshmeade). They were great. Funny, gave me lots of great experiences and were just awesome.

~

I can't believe I'm saying this but MLC gave me more than what Sue deems necessary. It gave me a life I can't believe I've had. Sure I've been drama-ridden (my childhood), but this has been a safe secure ride with one hell of an end. I've hated things but I've enjoyed things more and I've only realised that now. MLC is not only going to be early mornings, terrible assemblies and bitches, but friends, experiences, life, work, interest and me. I've been the belle for some and the beast for others, even combined but I'm sure they've enjoyed me and I've enjoyed them. I'm glad I can look back on it fondly, unlike my sister, so I have achieved that much, if not a great Enter. So thank you MLC.

Good Bye and Good Luck

~ M.M.W ~

PS: *rest* *rest*
Schnugged at 01:28 |