Current Mood: Full
Current Music: Fake - The Frames


Today, at like 8 in the morning, was my first shift at Safeway. EVER. And it was on express. Could they have freaked me out more or what?

I woke up at 7, took a shower, had breakfast. All done very sluggishly given the hour on a SATURDAY. Gr...anyway, got driven there. Was like 10 minutes early, re-met Corey, the manager, had a store tour. Jesus, I didn't realise Safeway was so huge. And the 'staff' area is underground. Kinda claustrophobic. The store room is a mess and it smells, even though there's only like cardboard in there. Blargh? Anyway, after all that, Talia still hadn't shown up, so Corey put me on Express with Ange watching over me. And of course, I freaked. But after like an hour, it becomes sorta natural. Although you have to keep staying aware. Luckily John and this other girl on my other side, kept watch over me when Ange was away, which was lucky because I was completely shit-scared.

Towards the end though, it was getting better although I know I was ticking off quite a few people at my slowness. I was so slow. Slowly slow slow. Okay, enough about Safeway.

~

Last few days have been the bore of the century. Instead of working and going out constantly with friends, I've been trapped inside, with my stifling parents, my sister who I'm STILL in a fight with, even though its been like four days. Jeez. Its been our worst fight ever. I was just sick and tired of letting her win all our fights all the time so I decided to take a stand and yelled at her in the car, and told her to leave me at the video store, because I'll find my way back. And I was ready to go back all by myself, even when she said 'Fine. I'll do just that.' So she dropped me off, and sped off in her car and I went in, got Napoleon Dynamite and The Notebook. About to go up to the desk and see my sister walk in the door with a smile an dsay 'Gosh, I forgot. How were you going to rent those without a card?' Except, while she's ready to forget about it and be apologetic, I walk right past her.

I remembered all those times she'd me down. I remembered all the times she completely ignored me in the U.S. when we went formal dress shopping. Or the times she used to tease me about my weight. Or the times she complained at me when I was sick in Tahoe. Or just all those times I wished her dead. Like when she jammed my computer screen under the door. And for a brief moment, I absolutely hated her.

So, I ignored her, took out the Video Ezy card which I had all along (she was going to use her drivers licence)and said as coldly as possible, 'Don't worry about me. I came prepared.'

And with that. She gave me the angriest look and strode from the store.

And you know what? Although I had to wait in the blistering cold for half an hour for the next tram, I was happy I'd done it. I love her, I do. But sometimes I think I have to remind my sister that she can't keep treating me the way she has been. That I'm growing up. That as I'm growing so is she. And all the times she reminds me to grow up, and be realistic, and all the times she scoffs that I have no idea what the real world is like, I am learning, I am going out there and realising how bad it is and I'm coping. I'm doing all right. SO she can just fuck off, with her all stupid wisdom. Because I'm there. I got what I wanted. Did she?

~

Enough bitching for one night, eh?

~ M.M.W ~
Schnugged at 20:22 |