Tuesday, July 25
Crap. I just realised I missed my third anniversary. Pooh. Then again, I'm not posting much anymore. Well at least not like I used to. Back in the days when I had no life (and sometimes believe that no life is better than one at all), I used to post twice or three times in a day.
Now. I'm glad if I post once or twice in a month.
That's not to say that I have a life now or that I'm some supersecretspy engaging in lots of foreign espionage. Lol. No. It may be the fact that I don't have much time for it anymore or that I've usually trying to conserve energy and I just don't have enough to sit here, cry, hide it from my sister, unbury secrets from the very pits of my soul (while exploding with many OMGAWDS)and then end on a cheery note. It may also be because, yeah, I do have somewhat of a life now. Things are strangely looking up.
Oh shut up, A'mes. If you say B I'm going to hit you.
So yeah. IDK. Its my fault, I know. I've been neglecting her. Yeah her. Something like a heroine. Sometimes my closest friend. I disclose all my secrets and there's no judgement, no purse of the lips, no serious analysations, no self-deprectation, no interruptions. Just blissful silence.
Then again, I do have A'mes. Who I have never met. Who I plan never to meet. Because we just work, as faceless entities who know each other's souls. Sometimes I think this is what God/s is/are like, there's nothing to judge, nothing characteristic, just a voice, echoing in some fog back and forward to one another. Communicating everything that goes on in their worlds. And there are no facades, just a blurriness. That's why I think Ames and I work. We just do. I adore her. I really do. But we've agreed that we'll never meet but still be there for one another. And yet, as I know she'll read this, I still want something real, something tangible, something that I can hug and kiss and feel. Because part of life itself is human contact, its a metaphysical thing as much as it really is a physical thing.
Oh and A'mes, if you make any sort of sordid, randy joke out of that last line (as you know I would do), I'll come after you with my pointy JASC ddtp Brush, you silly bitch.
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~ M.M.W ~
