Saturday, August 12
For the past two days, I've worked 28 hours of them. By the end, I was delirious and well hopefully, I lost some minute amount of weight although, that seems ridiculous and impossible.
It ended however with a five hour shift with B, which was delightful, not to say the least. He bought me dinner, even though I didn't really think he meant to. And before that, a really good leftover hour with S, upon which we met J(or P) in a most IRONIC twist of fate since I had been almost shouting about his IMP- beforehand. It was actually really funny given I glanced around me while we were talking and saw this guy and thought, "Wow, that looks a lot like J and hell, wouldn't it be funny if it was?" I turned to Sue to tell her that guy looked a lot like - when she whispered "oh my god" and well yeah, I went on red-alert and was overly social to buffer that very awkward silence. More ironically still, we were talking about S's new flame only a few minutes before.
It's strange what ends up making me happy. For me, it was talking to B, and something as trivial as me calling out his name and then him singing it back to me in that cute little way he does. I never thought of myself as boy-obsessy, but I guess I'm still not over that stint from seven years ago. Then again, that was based on ideals and this is based on...actual, perhaps mutual attraction. And this time, guys, he's not a figment of my imagination (i.e. D, S etc etc etc). And everytime I see him, he just gets impossibly better.
Today, I had three hour conversation with Sue, mainly just about our guys. For two, amazingly well educated individuals (oh we did impart opinions over Howard, the goverment and politics for about half an hour), it ended up the two of us, obsessively detailing our respective interests and how well, damnably wonderful they were. I still don't understand why he likes me and I think that scares me most. If I were skinnier, prettier with amazing hair, I'd know why. But I'm not, I'm on that journey and he isn't supposed to come till the end.
I guess the only option here, is to keep my obsessive, irrational person out of control, and continue this budding friendship. And alas, not forget all the other people on the way. In less than two months, and I hate to say it, but purely because of him, I've become so much more social and well...friends with almost everyone I see at Safeway. It's kinda nice. And such a problem because I want to quit that job and just have my typing one. Safeway used to scare me, but now it's...fun. I NEVER have problems with my job anymore. And most of my supervisors like me (aha, don't laugh). So yeah, I don't know what to do anymore.
Btw, I'm babysitting with B next Sunday. And having coffee with him on Monday. Dear god, I'm going to become boring REALLY REALLY fast.
M.M.W
PS: I lost two kilos. Where did they go? Maybe it was that one day I only ate jelly beans. Today, I ate a slice of brie and a bit of that really healthy flat bread and well yeah...okay, so maybe I should go have dinner now. THAT or wait until tommorow when I can hasten my metabolic rate on the treadmill. Bad me.
