Monday, September 18
I'm a terrible blogger.
This is only the second time I've posted this month and about maybe the tenth time I've posted this semester. So many things are happening, have happened, may possibly be happening that I haven't mentioned. Like the Law Ball, my Dinner Party, the fact that I now dislike B very, very much.
Yesterday night, there were only two people on my MSN. There was B and J, both boys. The funny thing is, I started to wish J would talk to me. I read over our old conversations and I enjoy them. They're funny and fun and witty and kind of hilarious. I do miss it when S and J were together. I've only once met her new boyfriend and he isn't half as chatty or fun as Sue makes him out to be. Then again, it's not like I've really spoken to him, is it?
Anyway. I'd been away from my computer awhile and B messages me and I look at his message. It's nice. But desperate. And I realise something, over the past few weeks, I've just continually started to dislike him. He's very preachy and kind of sad and reclusive and a bit too much of a girl and not fun. We always argue and all the cute flirting and mysteriousness is gone. I'm always cheering him up and making most of the conversation when we're talking and plainily, he annoys me. Not overtly but he does which is why I'm dreading going to Crim in about two hours. I need to go though. I just don't want to sit with him.
That's why I was so nicely surprised when J messaged me (I ignored B's message) and said, "Long time, no talk." and everything went back to normal. It was all the same and I had a fun night chatting which is only usual when chatting with close friends.
I look back at past posts and wonder how I was every so obsessed with B? I idealised him in a way that maybe considered him to be some awesome white knight with no issues and was going to save me. Instead I find myself in that position and quesiton whether it should really be my job? I have my own issues to sort out, buddy boy, and your ones come no where close to mine.
No wonder that girl ditched him by the third lecture. Thank god, I'm not so nervous now.
~ M.M.W ~
